I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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