I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
