I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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