You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
