For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
