All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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