I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
