You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
