I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
