i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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