Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
