I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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