Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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