Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
