Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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