Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
