I'm passing your future prison.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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