i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
