I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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