I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
