Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
