I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
