All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize