I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
