What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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