If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
