It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
