Need sex. Gaining weight.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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