who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
