I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
