the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize