Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize