I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
