We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
