no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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