You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
