she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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