I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
