i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
