I am spending my child support on dildos
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I feel like death gave me a hand job
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
