btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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