Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Non-Jews are for practice
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
