I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
