Rock
Scissors
Fuck
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
