my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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