fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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