my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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