At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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