I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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