I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
