Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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