It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
