im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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