He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
