in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
