oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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