Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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