dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
