I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
