remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
