this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
