My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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