Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
