Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
im on a boat
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