trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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