we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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