Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
