I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
