Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
